9 Things The Prophet Used to Do That Makes Him The Ideal Husband in Our Modern Day

9 Things The Prophet Used to Do That Makes Him The Ideal Husband in Our Modern Day

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Prophet Muhammed’s (PBUH) was very supportive of his wives’ work. He treated his wives with love and respect and always made little gestures that showed his affection towards them, like kissing them and lying on their laps. Now marriage counselors and behavioral psychologists are promoting this same behavior for a healthier, happier and long-lasting marriage. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) opposed many of the practices at the time that curbed or completely erased women’s rights or freedoms. For example, he stopped the practice of female infanticide and through the religion of Islam, bestowed many social and economic freedom on women such as the right of inheritance, the right to initiate divorce, the right to reject a marriage proposal and the right to hold property. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) can also be said to be a feminist in 7th century Arabia as he supported his wife, Khadijah’s career and helped with household chores to give her some time off. In this day and age, career women (especially wives and mothers) are always grieving the lack of help from their spouses in terms of household chores.

There were a few things the Prophet used to do that in our modern day and age would make him the ideal husband.

  • He was deeply attuned to his wife’s feelings

He instantly knew when she was happy or sad and acted accordingly. By always being conscious of each other’s emotional state, the couple can then console each other when needed and be there for each other during the good and bad times.

 

  • Drinking and eating from one place

Aisha radiallahu anha would drink from a cup.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take this cup and search for the place where the lips of his beloved wife made contact.  Upon finding the place where his wife drank from the cup, he would put his lips on the very same place so that his lips have touched the place where her lips touched.  He would then drink the contents of the cup at the same time enjoying union with his spouse.  When there was meat to eat, Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha would take a bite.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take the meat from her hand and again place his mouth the very same place where his wife ate from.  This would add taste of love to his food.[4]

Do things together with your wife.  Do not just eat at the same time and on the same tablecloth, but eat from the same plate.  Let alone the same plate, eat together from the same article of food.  This will bond the hearts so close to one another.  When everything your wife comes into contact with becomes more beloved to you than food itself, imagine the flame of love in your lives?

  • Physical displays of affection

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would kiss his wife regularly.  Even when he salallahu alaihi wasallam would be fasting, he would kiss his wife.[5]

Compliment your spouse often with kisses.  When exiting the house, make it habit you leave by coming into contact with your spouse.  When returning home, along with saying salām to her, show that you have missed her dearly.

When she is working or busy in her household chores, surprise her with a kiss.  You have to show your love.  Love is the fuel of marriage; if you desire your marriage to progress, you have to express your love in every way you can.

Physical relations in a marriage are very important.  The famous saying is, “actions speak louder than words.”  Show your spouse you love her.  Sharī῾ah promotes romance and physical relations between the husband and wife.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam categorically stated,

“Conjugal relations with your wife is a sadaqah.”[6]The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said : If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, -even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.” [7]

The husband and wife should make these gentle gestures to exhibit their love and appreciation.  Feed your spouse with your own hands now and then.  This will rekindle the flame of love in your marriage.

  • Assisting her in the housework

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home.  He would see to his needs himself rather than demanding his wife.  He would clean and see to his clothing himself.

Without being asked, if the couple help each other in day to day activities, it will make one appreciate the other.  Likewise, one should try his best not to demand his/her spouse to do things too much.  Whatever one can do himself, he should do.  We need to be considerate of the spouse.  The wife works tirelessly all day.  So if the husband was to be considerate and realize his wife works hard, this will touch the wife.  Likewise, if the wife was to go out of her way to see to the needs of her husband being considerate, it will induce a great spark of love between the two.

  • Telling her stories

Discuss stories and events with your spouse.  Engage in light hearted discussions with her-something to laugh and joke over.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on many occasions would discuss stories, events and have light hearted discussions.  The famous story narrated by Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha regarding Umm Zar’ is evident.

This is one angle which is neglected more so than often.  It is all ‘business’ between the husband and wife.  They do not get into light hearted conversations.  Instead, the husband rings his friends and chuckles with them.  The wife on the other hand giggles during the day with her friends.  This should not be the case. Focus and divert all your amusement and entertainment at your spouse.  If you want to laugh, then let it be that you are laughing with your wife.

Make it a point in your busy schedule daily where you sit with your wife and do nothing but have fun with her.

  • Racing with his wife

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would exercise and play with his wife also.  The famous incident of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam challenging his wife to race is well known.

When a couple can have such good times together, it only ignites the love even more.

  • Dress for your spouse

Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur῾ān 2 :228.)[11]

This is another area where many spouses fail.  The wife only dresses when it is a special occasion.  The husband on the hand stays scruffy and does not take care to be neat and tidy.  If the couple want their everyday to be a special occasion like their wedding day, they must dress to impress!

The wife should wear the clothing which pleases her husband. Likewise, the husband should wear what the wife likes.  Every time the husband and wife glance at each other, the glance should arouse them and stir up more love for their spouse.  This will ignite the love in the heart.

  • Do not talk about her private matters

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others as amongst the worst of people.[13]

Whatever occurs between yourself and your spouse should remain between you two.  How unmanly and shameful is it when a husband discusses his wife to his friends? The secrets and issues of the spouse must not be narrated at all to anyone.  Do not talk about your wife to others.  Your wife is for you.  You are for your wife.  Your fidelity and loyalty should always be to your spouse.

  • Loving & respecting their families

Another great factor to contribute to a healthy relationship is to love and cherish the family of your spouse.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most.  He replied, “Aisha.”  When the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men, he replied, “Her father.”

The Prophet could have easily said Abu Bakr.  His answer displays such intelligence and ingenuity, that in one response he displayed his devotion to his wife and her family.  He exhibited his fondness for his in-laws.  Imagine how happy his wife Sayyidah Aisha would have become upon hearing this response?

Compliment your in laws in front of your wife.  Compliment your wife to her family.  Your wife will really appreciate this.

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.

 

Religion-based Scientific/Western/modern day practice
–       Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) treated his wives with love and respect and always made little gestures that showed his affection towards them. Physical affection was very important in his relationship with his wives, such as kissing and lying on her lap –       Physical affection today is touted as one of the most important elements in keeping a marriage together. While sex is vital, other forms of physical affection, such as kissing, touching etc, help to promote intimacy and strengthen the bonds between a man and his wife
–       The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on many occasions would discuss stories, events and have light hearted discussions. –       Communication is key. A married couple must enjoy having conversations with each other. Rather than talking with their respective friends all the time, they should be able to talk to one another and verbally communicate their day’s events, experiences and emotions.
–       The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home.  He would see to his needs himself rather than demanding his wife.  He would clean and see to his clothing himself –       Today with so many women entering the workforce, it has become vital to the survival of a marriage for the husband to assist in household chores.
–       Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them –       If the couple want their everyday to be a special occasion like their wedding day, they must dress to impress!

 

–       The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most.  He replied, “Aisha.”  When the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men, he replied, “Her father.” His answer displays such intelligence and ingenuity, that in one response he displayed his devotion to his wife and her family.  He exhibited his fondness for his in-laws –       Compliment your in laws in front of your wife.  Compliment your wife to her family.  Your wife will really appreciate this.

 

 

 

Asil Rashid is a Sudanese-born Canadian, who’s lived most of her life in Dubai, U.A.E. Having worked as an environmental and sustainability consultant for most of her professional career, she has always maintained a love of writing. After getting married and moving to Cairo, a couple of years ago, she started a blog ( www.thebountifulnow.com) to chronicle her experience of living in Egypt, as well as her travels around and outside of Egypt and the numerous recipes she’s created. Early this year, she became a mother to a beautiful baby girl and, having always been interested in health and wellness, cooking and making things in her kitchen from scratch, she decided to work as a contributor writer for The Daily Crisp as a way to indulge her many passions. Asil is also an avid gardener, a lover of Italian food and a PADI Open Water certified diver.