#MotherhoodMondays: It’s OK to Not Be a Supermom

#MotherhoodMondays: It’s OK to Not Be a Supermom

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Lately there’s been an emphasis on pushing women, especially mothers to “do it all”. What started out as support to women has seemingly now turned into putting more pressure on mothers to keep up with the supermom image; an image that is increasingly unrealistic and sets high expectations which in the end cause burnout, resentment between spouses or feelings of inadequacy with some mothers.

There are several factors that make moms especially question their abilities. If you have it in you to go to work, come home to maintain a sparkling home, cook a wholesome meal, parent positively 24/7 and have energy at the end of the day to socialize and spend some quality time with your husband then that’s great! If not, it doesn’t mean you’re failing, don’t worry! Today we’re discussing the top issues that affect moms, and why it’s important to do what’s best for your situation and your family by ditching that superficial supermom status.

Work
Whether you choose to work or be a stay at home mom it depends on you and your family’s needs. It might be because of your career or financial situation that you return to work and place your baby in daycare or leave them with grandparents. Alternatively, you may choose to be a full time stay at home mom. A nice compromise you may also consider is working part-time. Research shows that more mothers enter the workforce if there is more part-time work available and sufficient maternity leave. Those choices are Okay because they are what work for you. What matters is that your child is receiving proper care and attention with and without you.

Parenting & Home
I adore Positive Parenting and think it’s the most ideal way to raise healthy children in a respectful environment. It teaches important social and life skills that will stay with your child forever. That being said, just as life isn’t textbook, neither is parenting. Every moment doesn’t have to be filled with learning activities and wholesome organic meals. Don’t get me wrong, those are great; however, it’s OK if you put your child in front of the TV so you can get dressed in peace every now and then. It’s not the end of the world if you skip the 3 course dinner and make scrambled eggs for your child, or decide to stay home and be lazy this weekend instead of going to the book fair. Leave the laundry for another day or order takeout this evening if it means it can give you more later on. The important thing is to do things in moderation. If you tend to parent more positively most of the time cut yourself some slack to help make your life easier and calmer. This will help you relax and have the energy to be happy around your child and family.

Yourself
Being a parent is challenging enough. It’s a 24 hour job that never ends. Once your baby is born he/she becomes your whole life. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Remember, to take time to relax and take a break to recharge. It can be a very guilty feelings to leave your child to pamper yourself but please do go ahead and do it if it will make you feel good. There is no need to put yourself in overdrive and attempt to do it all. Accept help from friends or family or hire help to assist you around the house if you can. Every little ounce of support can be beneficial. Just as scheduling activities for your child is important, so is arranging regular time for you to relax. Whether that’s quality family time, time with your girlfriends or reading a book in silence. Find what helps you relax and make the time for it. While the supermom image tells us to do it all, parenting is not a solo job, it takes a village to raise a child.

Jailan is a parenting coach born and raised in Egypt, and now based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. A mother of a toddler herself, Jailan’s passion is to help parents of young children bring respectful, positive parenting into their daily lives. She provides parent coaching consultations to families worldwide, in person and via Skype, as well as workshops and a monthly parent support group for parents in the Netherlands. She is a current PhD candidate in the field of Child & Family studies through Leiden University, and has completed certifications in early childhood education (from UCLA) and Positive Discipline (from Jane Nelsen & Lynn Loyd). You can connect with her on her website at www.EarlyYearsParenting.com, Facebook or email at Jailan@EarlyYearsParenting.com.

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