Three years ago, I would have rather thrown myself out of my bedroom window than look at myself in the mirror.
Loving one’s body is no easy process. Regardless of how others may see you, self-love is an austere, uneasy and quite unpleasant process to teach ourselves.
Throughout the self-love discovery journey, we may have so much emotional baggage to unpack, relive, and replace with new positive and more adequate “material”. No matter how tough the process may be, it remains a possible one.
The self-acceptance journey leads to rewarding results, and is mostly – much like everything else – it’s not a linear process.
Today, I am a young overweight girl who dares to wear white dresses and pull her hair up while remaining gorgeous.
That doesn’t mean I don’t go through days where I want to hide from the world; however, it just means I’ve come a long way in applying the above-mentioned steps and reaching a pleasant place of self-acceptance.
For this, I am sharing some tips on how I made peace with my body, and how you can too.
Yes, clean your closet!
Trying and fitting into something in the closet only to find out it is impossible; brings up so much guilt, shame, and aversion, of course, these are not the types of feelings we ought to have when paving ourselves the way of self-love journey.
So, go through your wardrobe, take out everything that’s frayed and doesn’t quite fit, and donate it.
That way you completely let go of things that triggered your self-dislike.
Wardrobes are meant to include only the items which make us feel good about ourselves; flattering pieces of all colors, different materials and textures, plain and decorative articles, and even some “unconventional” pieces. Pieces that bring us joy.
Closets should be a space where only “feel-good” clothes exist.
Here are the top 3 points to keep in mind while working on filtering your wardrobe:
- Nothing lumpy
- No ugly-oversized
- No frayed or dirty
the way one chooses to express themselves through dressing up can make them feel like low just as on the other hand can make them feel like “the sexiest person to ever walk the earth”.
Always remember that apparel has the power to make you confident, no matter your shape or size.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
The mirror can be your best friend or worst enemy – it’s all about what “you make yourself see”.
For 365 days, my vanity mirror was covered in enough colorful ink that I could barely see my own reflection. Each color spelled a word such as: “tenacious”, “loyal”, “loving”, etc.
My mirror was covered in positive adjectives that I associate with myself; so, for a whole year, all I saw when I looked in the mirror was proof of how a strong of a woman I am, how kind and loving, how hardworking and honest, how intelligent and powerful.
I can no longer associate negative adjectives with myself because I have consciously trained my eyes – and by extension, my mind – to only see the good in me, and it has done wonders for my confidence and self-presentation as a whole.
“When I Look Like This, I Will”
We all have a to-do list of things we fantasize about doing as soon as we achieve the “ideal body”.
Here are some suggestions to manifesting the list of your dreams:
- That list? Start checking things off of it now.
- That dress you want? Buy it.
- That destination you’re desperate to explore? Book a flight and go.
- That dance class you’re yearning to attend? Go at it.
- That life you know you deserve to live? Start living it. Now.
Because life is too short for anyone to wait for anything to be done the way they want, or wait for anyone to do things the way they want them to and/or believe they deserve.
We’re all beautiful exactly the way we are. You are beautiful no matter what you look like, and once you start doing the things you are keeping from yourself, Your confidence will soarrr.
We all have stories of shame. We all have early memories of being made to feel like we’re not “good enough”.
A huge part of healing and moving forward by accepting ourselves and bodies, is to revisit those memories we associate with shame; and look at them from another perspective.
Our most difficult memories can often become our most empowering ones – revisit your memories, your experiences, your life story – it will empower you in ways you can’t even begin to imagine, just use the rhetoric of love instead of shame and fear.
Owning our bodies, specifically.
Owning the pleasure, the sexy. Discovering what are the things we associate with sexiness: Lace panties, frilly bras, leather pants, low cut-tops? Maybe, the idea of sexy has nothing to do with clothes, maybe it’s a candle-lit room, or Edith Piaf music, or even having your hair done.
Whatever makes you feel sexy – wear it, do it. In a space that you feel is safe, allow yourself to feel the pleasure of your own body; to recognize your body as more than just a vessel to your soul, and fall in love with the way you feel when you think you look good or sensual or even sexy.
Let your inner “Mozza” out and share this link with the friends you think would need to read this article in order to come to better terms with themselves.