You see, my twenties were spent running around like a headless chicken, trying to figure out my life.
Trying to prove to myself that my choice of degree wasn’t completely off, that I wasn’t going to end up like my own mother: utterly exhausted by my mid-thirties.
So, while it is healthy to work out and watch what you eat, I did both obsessively, I traveled to run away from my life and I basically did everything BUT figure it all out.
I became a mother four months short of thirty and that to me was a blessing.
During my pregnancy, I had planned everything for the seeming long waited for day: The Labor Day.
My birth, my parenting, who is going to be there and what I am going to feed my child while weaning was all set into a perfect plan scenario in my head.
I finally started my labor; I was already ten days overdue. Except that my water never broke, so my labor never really progressed, for 40 hours.
In the midst of all this, I was still trying to control everything, to the point of refusing to let the doctors give me any medications while in labor.
40 hours of unmedicated labor… I was tired. Still, I wouldn’t let them come near me with any anesthetic – I wish I had let them, I really wanted to give birth naturally!
The flip side of this “little story” is that I now KNOW I can make it through ANYTHING.
I kind of know, how painful it is to survive major abdominal surgery like a c-section since I still refused to commit to taking my painkillers after it.
Getting a c-section and quite a loud baby meant that I needed to do something else I was not acquainted with – slowing down.
I spent days and nights in my room alone.
I wouldn’t allow anyone near me or my son because I wanted to get to know him.
My family had to endure this imposed seclusion I required, while also managing to take care of me – an injured control freak.
His crying made me anxious, so anxious that I couldn’t go out. I did manage to get him to tell daytime from night-time and that I did through having him sleep on my chest for weeks. We were inseparable.
This had my parents, who value their time so much, go through a bit of a culture shock.
I was carrying my newborn the whole time and breastfeeding him most of the time, to build my supply and basically, I did everything that people would normally associate with being “backward” – AND I SURVIVED.
I didn’t go backwards or anything.
Here I am, two years later, willing to share all the random things I learned over the course of my being a Mother.
Lesson one: Let go – Release the need to be in control.
No matter how good and mentally comforting it is to have a plan, it’s even better to have a plan without being attached to a specific outcome!
Share this article with friends you know would be comforted by this story, the new moms you know to reassure them about not being alone out there, and stay tuned for more lessons learned in the articles to come.