I know that everything around you right now is making you confused, I know that you’re too numb to get up from the bed every morning, and I know that everything that used to make you happy just doesn’t do the job anymore.
Sometimes it gets hard for me not to take it personally, I’m trying to tell myself that someday you will know your worth through my eyes, you will know the difference you make in my life, and you will let me in to help you. I understand you do not have the ability right now to hear any shoulds and should nots. I understand that quite well, but my love for you is preventing me from letting you sink into your dark thoughts.
I hope you have the patience to hear out what I have to say, I’m not asking for anything in return, I’m not even asking you to understand this right now, because I know that later on you will figure it all out and this letter will only be a reminder of how amazing you are even if you’re not returning back my calls.
I want you to know that I’ve been here, I’ve been in your shoes, and I know it kinda sucks. I know you do not want to be sad. I know some parts of you are going missing each and every day, I know that it’s not about you being mad at one specific thing, it’s you being mad at life. Well, we all are.
Do you remember the school’s security guard? Do you remember how cheerful and how much he was full of life? Do you remember how we got shocked by knowing that all his family passed away in an accident, yet he still smiled at every one of us? Maybe I never told you so, but this man is literally my role model, and I really think he should be everyone’s role model.
‘It’s just so unfair ‘ you’re screaming from the inside, and I can hear it, I can, sweetheart. Do you know what’s even more unfair? Someone like you losing their appetite for living. I need you to know that no matter what we lost, and no matter what we gained along the way, we’re the ones who are still surviving through it all.
I need you to know that you are underestimating your strength. Yes, you are because even you waking up every day and managing to pass the day even if you spent it all in your room with all the feelings you keep inside is actually considered as strength. I beg you please do not use that strength to drag you down, I need you to use it to lift you higher.
I feel you, and I know you’re being blindfolded by those dark thoughts, but I still need you to count your blessings. Any kind of blessings. I mean, my love for you, your room, your heart, the roof you’re under, your ability to read this letter, even the blanket your hiding under. I know I said I am asking for a lot of things, but the one and only reason for me asking you all of this, is that I need you, I need you to be back.
Take your time, read this letter whenever you want, read it for as many times as you want. Just know that it’s okay, it’s okay love. I’ll be here, forever, to make the plan with you for the comeback!
Your all-time favorite friend.