When I became a mother, I took the decision to fully dedicate my whole time to being a mother.
The first few motherhood months were respectively dark and lonely. In order to teach my son to differentiate between day and night, I would lock myself up in a room with him at night, which despite it not having a positive impact on me emotionally, for him it worked pretty well.
On the other hand, in the mornings, there was no place I considered as “infant friendly” in Cairo; which let to the same conclusion. Staying in the room!
The first time for my son to leave the house was when he turned one month.
This though has absolutely nothing to do with how I fell off the social radar; I was always good at that! The truth, however, is that the longer I dwelled in my “self-imposed isolation”, me more miserable it made me.
The decision to dedicate all my time to growing my son led to me losing my light, and this was no god for me or anyone else around me.
How Did I Adjust and Get Back On Track After Post-Partum Syndrome
Even though being a parent is such a great purpose to have, I was (still am) socially conditioned to define my purpose with my ability to generate income.
This is why I started taking part-time jobs from home.
Before becoming a parent, I was basically addicted to “being busy”.
To realize that time doing nothing also matters took me close to three years, and this is a whole other topic for another article.
Anyhow, being a new mother and a homeopathy student, as well as having a home-based part-time job, wasn’t fun – I was stressed and I made everyone else around me stressed as well.
On top of this, I was continually attempting household management (which was never successful), asking my partner to be the partner, best friend, and lover; all while he was adjusting to his new role as a father.
Here is when I thank the Lord for the existence of my Doula, who would reach out to me at all perfect times as if there was divine synchronicity between us.
She is the one who got me aware of the “vicious” cycle I put myself in, and it was then when I ventured on the journey of self-discovery through self-care.
I started gradually carving time for myself; which at the start was in the form of me taking a shower, slowly evolving to shower and hair care routine, etc.
I started then looking for ways to enrich my life and my love of online learning.
I was already enrolled in taking a homeopathy course based in Cairo. Fortunately, the homeopathy teacher allows students to enroll in e-learning, and that’s exactly how I did it.
I started watching videos, taking notes, and submitting assignments. Studying has become my daily self-care routine!
How did I handle my Self-Care while being a mother, once I got more time?
In order to successfully attend workshops and retreats, I started working full time to contribute to household income, and avoid feeling guilty.
Being committed to a daily job, had a controversial outcome to what it was initially intended for, leaving me and my family at a quite unstable place.
Fortunately, this seemingly unpleasant situation led me to make more rational decisions; working from home and planning the implementation of the practice of Homeopathy and Golden Lotus.
Thankfully, I live close to my very family who is always encouraging the idea of babysitting my child to spend more time with them.
Those few hours allow me to have time for myself and it took me a while to learn this was an actually good option!
How did My Self-Care Ritual Routine Prosper
It all started by taking time for a shower, gradually evolving in having morning rituals of writing, movement, and Sufi mindful practices.
The idea of having to finish all the morning rituals before actually starting the day was stressful for me. However, taking a few hours before my family woke up did the trick of successfully completing my morning ritual and embrace the ahead of me with resilience and an open heart.
when I’m tired and unable to wake up as early, I reduce my morning routine to just having a cup of coffee mindfully.
And believe that it is more than enough in those days!
The beauty of having a ritual is that it can be done out of literally anything.
Just by mindfully doing a few minutes of whatever lights us up, we create a self-care ritual out of it!
Lately, I have also been having “me” days, where my husband takes out our child for the day and I get to do whatever I feel like doing.
Painting, singing, dancing, reading, writing and even drumming (I recently made my own drum in Dahab!)
Thus, this means you can work your way from wherever with whatever resources you have momentarily available for you.
It doesn’t have to be cripplingly elaborate; it doesn’t have to be restrictively expensive.
Keep an eye out for more ideas to be shared in upcoming articles, and share this article with all your new parent friends to remind them they deserve self-care as well.