Conversations surrounding sex and sexuality have been quite off-putting and limited to the public. Taboos around the subject have controlled whether or not people speak about them and whether or not they are in touch with what they are doing in the first place. However, taboos don’t just stop there. They dig deeper into relationships far after marriage and may stay for decades later.
No previous sex education and the inability to freely discuss these matters leave room for nothing but private conversations to happen – if they do at all – with no information or knowledge to back up the experience, or lack of. However, there are many taboos that need not exist, as they are what constitute healthy relationships.
Talking About Sex
What happens when we don’t talk about sex?-Disaster. Relationships, to yourself and your partner, are ongoing dynamics of verbal and nonverbal communication and behavioral adjustments. When you are unable to talk about a huge part of your identity and your relationship, you psychologically disconnect and lose touch with yourself. The effects on your body and your relationship are far deeper and more serious than one can imagine. Denying or ignoring the subject won’t make it any better. Constructive, ongoing communication builds stronger bonds between partners and allows for growth to occur.
Sex Toys, Costumes and Role-Playing
These options have been created in order to enhance sexual pleasure, playfulness and connection amidst everyday monotony. Sex in relationships can easily fall into a routine with time and the accumulation of daily stress. Sometimes, we need an extra little something and a different perspective to spice things up again, to remind us of what was already there. Sex toys, costumes and role-playing can be fun examples that help maintain an open and safe space for two partners to experiment and grow together, tailored to unique and personal likings.
Fantasies are what constitute a healthy adult imagination. Schools and academic institutions encourage creativity and imagination in childhood because of its healthy implications on the child and brain. Yet many seem to let go of that with time and age. Maintaining an imagination throughout adulthood and in your sexuality is key to ongoing desire. A step further into the equation is to feel safe enough to discuss and share fantasies together, creating your own little private world together.
Scientific evidence has proven that human touch is one of the most important factors of physical, emotional and mental health. Touch releases and raises serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin levels in the brain. These are the happy hormones. It’s important to note that human touch does not have to be sexual. Unfortunately, when sex is considered such a huge taboo touch and intimacy as a concept and act become strange and outside the norm. There is a huge need to normalize intimacy within our homes. Healthy relationships and friendships are built with healthy attitude towards intimacy, for adults and children alike.
A Female’s Role in Sex
There is a huge misconception that sex depends on whether or not the man is good in bed. Women also play a huge role in sex. Because each woman’s body is different, one must not assume that men will understand how to please them on their own. It takes two to tango, and sex is a collaborative relational act. You need not be a starfish in bed, because once sex feels like a duty, it’s not sex anymore. Women need to be more proactive in their sex life and men need to slow down a bit. The more worried you are about performance, the less attention you will pay to the present, and may fail to cease the moment.
Sex is a hugely sensitive topic for many-if not all-parents. The easiest outlook is to completely ignore it. Ignoring or shaming it will make it go away, right? Wrong. It’s there to stay! Children need age-appropriate information for healthy human development to occur. Appropriate sex education won’t accelerate their development or increase the risk of “sexual acts”. In fact, lack of knowledge is quite dangerous to both children and adults. Find more on this topic here.
Reconsidering taboos around sexuality within your home is vital for constructive, healthy relationships. Healthy relationships will never occur unless intimacy and connection are valued, normalized, and voiced.