In the day and age we live in we feel like Emotional Intelligence is more important than IQ ever was. (In case you ever wondered, IQ means “Intelligence Quotient”)

If there is one thing that thought leaders and successful people have in common, it’s their awareness of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is your ability to understand and manage your emotions and respond to the emotions of others.

Some people are gifted with being emotionally intelligent. Still, it’s a skill that can be taught through experience and practice.

Here’s a list of 4 things we do wrong because of our lack of EQ awareness.


1. Distracting Yourself When You Feel Bad

Your mind needs your attention.

When we experience trauma and our head is filled with overwhelming thoughts. We try to avoid that pain by distracting ourselves. The easiest way to do that is to pull up your phone and do mindless scrolling.

Of course, it’s good to take a break from negative feelings and emotions every once in a while and do your thing. However, if you’re always distracting yourself from how you feel using social media, Netflix, or even work. Then, it could be an indication of something.

Get into the habit of listening to how you feel. If you don’t know how to, then try this little technique.

How to Talk to Yourself When You’re Feeling Bad

  1. Imagine that you’re trying to console someone you love and talk to yourself the same way.
  2. Hear yourself out. You can spell out what’s bothering you, you can write it down, or you can just think it out loud.
  3. Breathe and remind yourself that whatever it is that’s bothering you, you are safe now and away from that situation.


2. Criticizing Other People

If you’re not in their shoes, stay out of them.

Inherently, most of us feel the need to judge other people for their choices and flaws. When we do that it’s for one of two reasons.

  1. We feel insecure, and we’re looking for external validation to tell us that we’re good enough. So, in your head, it might sound like this: “Well at least I don’t do….” 
  2. You’re distracting yourself from becoming a better person by saying that you’re better than other people.

We all have judgmental thoughts from time to time and that’s okay. Get into the habit of reminding yourself that you don’t know what this person you’re judging is going through, so your judgment is probably wrong. 

Also, when you catch yourself judging someone, try to think of one thing you can work on that would make you a better person.


3. Getting Easily Offended

“It’s not you, it’s me” isn’t a consolation cliche, it’s true

Usually, you think that when someone is irritated, angry, or being mean, it’s a reflection of something that you did wrong. However, they’re only a reflection of how that person is feeling at the moment.

When you hop into the mindset of “It’s not my fault, it’s just how they feel” you feel liberated, and you won’t be offended by other people’s words of behavior so much because you know that 99% of the time it isn’t about you.

It’s not personal.


4. You Don’t Audit Who You Listen To

You are who you listen to.

We are generally affected by the things we listen to every day. So, if the people you hang out with are always giving you negative thoughts and negative energy, you will feel bad.

If people around you give out positive and happy thoughts, you will see life in a brighter light and you will feel happier. 

Listen to people who are happy and grateful and see how they see life. You’d be amazed by how much this can change your mindset into a happy one. Get into the habit of filtering people who make you feel bad and spending less time with them.


Auditing who you listen to doesn’t always apply to face-to-face interaction with people. This applies to the kind of music you listen to, and the social media accounts you follow. These factors affect how you think and feel more than you think.

So, pay attention to what accounts your following on social media, or find podcasts that promote positivity and happiness.


To sum it up for you, emotional intelligence is the ability to pinpoint your emotions as well as other people’s and respond to them instead of reacting mindlessly.

The key to being emotionally intelligent is to try as much as you can to be aware of your feelings and thoughts and what affects them, and always be there for yourself. 

It’s World Mental Health Day today, so share this article with your friends and them know more about emotional intelligence!