How many fights have you had with your partner that you wish to take back? How many times did you say things with the intention of finding a solution but ended up the other way around?
Well, the joining of two people’s lives coming together to shape their future and form a whole new life, after all the previous years of doing it on their own or with other people, is not an easy task.
Life partners each with diverse perspectives on most of the mundane endeavors, applying those perspectives and compromising to keep each other on one another’s track can sometimes result in fights that may lead to ending the relationship.
I have personally been struggling with ultimately expressing my own emotions and points of view smoothly.
But hey, picture this: You and your partner finding that finely smooth way of communication, instead of arguing; to reach common grounds of understanding.
I have worked my way through gathering up some really useful tips I came across throughout my life coaching journey and I’m here today to share them compassion tips with you.
Pro Tip: “Love fights” are really essential for keeping any relationship alive, they definitely are way better than bottling everything up within and unintentionally explode all of a sudden.
Let’s head straight to how to turn a fight into a meaningful discussion
1- Talk About It Later
Expressing while in a “low state” while being unable to righteously process our emotions and turn them into clearly understandable words can be one of the biggest pitfalls, we all unintentionally fall into.
To avoid such occurrence, it is better we take some time and calm down by doing something we love and not think about the unfortunate event we want to discuss with our partners.
Letting the argumentative conversation flow come out naturally and without presets of when we were enraged plays a major role in leading a healthy conversation.
So, take time, cool down, talk from a new standpoint.
2- Talk About It When You’re Face to Face
Yes, the most important thing about communication is hearing what isn’t being said.
So, even though calls and texts can be considered as “main pillars of communication” between couples, they prevent us from actually understanding our significant others properly.
Seeing the facial expressions and feelings of our partner while talking, prevents us from misinterpreting what they’re saying, it reminds us of the true feelings we have for them which can make the maddening sensations dissipate, turning into a passionate fire.
3- Talk About the Desired Result – Look at the Bigger Picture
Okay, imagine a couple continuously arguing over interior design styles – you watching them and noticing how they are both insinuating the same things differently: (building a family in that home together.)
Yes, the devil is in the details.
When focusing on details, we can get carried away and drift apart from each other and our main goals for being together.
Chunking up plays a great role in making the relationship work.
When both partners look at the bigger picture it helps to get through and automatically let go of the small details which and ruin big wonderful things.
4- Think About: How Would You Feel If You Were Them
Putting ourselves in our partner’s shoes, just to vaguely understand where they’re standing in the discussion helps in communicating better.
Not only is this strategy a game-changer in clearer communications, but it also can help us express our emotions and needs in ways that are more receptive from our partners. It also makes us more intimately close to them when we communicate as they do.
When we put ourselves in our partner’s shoes, we can also see clearly what it is that we’re doing to cause misunderstandings, and therefore, be able to eventually avoid them.
5- Give Each Other Feedback
Yes, Feedback works like magic in turning future arguments in simple fruitful conversations.
When stating the negatives first, our partners can unconsciously turn on their self-defense mode as they will probably feel violated, and therefore they close off and cease to be receptive – we definitely do not want that.
Feedback strategy means to state the positives first, almost like giving them feedback to perform better.
This way they will be receptive to both the positives and amplify them, and the negatives and switch them.
We need to always remember both of us are in this because we want to make this relationship work.
Remember, there’s always a perspective that you’re not aware of, if not many at once. W all need to always be compassionate and understanding of our loved one’s situation especially when it’s a hard time.
Yalla!! Share this link with your partner and make your arguments become more rewarding.