Hey, I bet you’re now wondering how to tell if that “specific person”who crossed your mind as you read the title is really toxic or not. It certainly gets very confusing at times, to the extent that we don’t even know how to think about it anymore, so we blame ourselves instead and try to handle them and contain their emotions even if deep down you’re fed up.
These people also have amazing incredible talents, such as victimizing themselves so you think that you’re actually wrong for asking for the basic human rights of yours.
Which brings us to the next question: How Do We Know if Someone Is Toxic?
Like I said earlier, toxic people are so good at victimizing themselves, no matter what the situation is, they always seem to find a room for their thrive to make you feel pity for them.
Secondly, they are too self absorbed and self centered to be looking at you. They are always talking about themselves without paying attention to the other human being sitting next to them. So you end up fighting for existing in this friendship/relationship that never seems to work out and you end up sleeping unhappy for so many days.
Another talent of toxic people is: manipulation and emotional blackmail. Oh and this is my personal favorite, I actually find it kinda funny.
These people always act as if nothing happened if it’s something related to you, as if whatever you’re going through is not a big deal. And if you get into a discussion with them it always manages to turn into a fight, and you’ll always find them escaping the core of the argument and jumping straight to the tiniest details… and as if all the latter is not enough, these people tend to also use your own words and weakness against you.
As if the above-mentioned situations are not enough, toxic people have this kind of magnetism that makes you feel responsible towards them, you always feel the urge to fix them; because they make you feel as if you’re responsible for their own struggles, which is unfair.
A toxic person always tries to break you and make you feel less of yourself when they want to feel powerful. Just when you’re about to walk away though, they do the total opposite for a period of time until they get the whole relationship back to their old track where they are in control.
Comparison is another of toxic people’s traits. Whether they compare their issues to yours, their friends to yours, their family, or even their job. You’ll find it so hard to talk about something related to you without them popping in to talk about a similar thing, and not in the way that makes you feel as if they are trying to make you feel better, no, it’s the total opposite. In a nutshell, if you’re happy, they are happier, if you’re sad, they are miserable.
The comparison itself is very toxic. Especially if you don’t even share the same gender.
Well, you may not find all these things in them, but there is at least one that is correct and you’ve been suffering from. So, now we’re talking about them, now it’s time to talk about you! About why do you seriously need to RUN!
Not What You Need
The purpose of having a friend/partner is to feel more loved and supported. To share specific events with someone who you trust. To find a good shoulder to cry on. To have someone by your side through thick and thin. So what’s the point of having someone in your life that won’t give you what you need? They will only get all of that from you, with no intentions of giving you in return.
That’s exactly why we complain after cutting them off that we don’t have the energy to let other people in, right? That’s because we choose to spend our time and energy on the people that we know deep down quite well that they are no good for us, our existence, or anything.
They Lower Your Standards
How does that happen? Everyone has their own standards, the way they like to be treated, and contained. However, when you let a toxic person into your life, not only do they not meet your expectations, they also do not meet the basic standard of any humane relationship.
Lower Your Self-Confidence
All of the above, affects your confidence even if you’re not aware of it, it does subconsciously. It makes you feel like you don’t deserve any better than this, while in fact you do, we all do. We deserve to be surrounded by healthy relationships. We definitely do not need more complications in life.